+Milk Weed Pod

+ Vermont

Suspension bridge!

+ groupie

Addie sees a live band :)

+ Harvest Show

The Deep Woods creatures are "in the mail" to Vermont for the Harvest Show at Mary Swanson's Art House in Middlebury. They were all very excited and happily shoved themselves into a flatrate box to make the journey. I will be seeing them again next week, when Addie, nana and I fly out to visit Mary, the Art House and to see the trees!

+ Winner!!!!

Mommy and Addie, after getting our medal!

Me, Anne Marie and Addie - postrace

I had a really great time at the Napa Valley Stomp 10k. It was hard, challenging and fun. My intention was - Safe, Fun, Fast - and I had that experience. (I think it is hilarious to incorporate "safe" into my intentions, but the truth of parenthood is - it is never a good idea to have a parent "go down".) Anyway, I came in first in my age group (30-39) and third for women and tenth overall. I was shocked and thrilled to realize that I had done so well.

I had many doubts and fears. My main fear was that I would go out too fast and not be able to complete the race well. My other fear was that I would start out too slow and not be able to catch up. Now, looking back, I think I could have quickened my pace a little more in the beginning, so I would not have been so hard pressed to speed like a demon down the mountain at the end. All in all, I impressed myself and had a huge amount of flashbacks. I am happy to say that I am still interested in trail running and look forward to my next strange adventure.

Finally, I am really grateful to my coach, Anne Marie for all her help, support and inspiration. She even came to my race and warmed me up! What a good friend :)

+ behind

I am SO far behind in my posts... but not necessarily in my picture taking. Lots of pictures, very little time to post. Addie just started school yesterday (2 mornings a week at a local waldorf pre-school) and it feels a little traumatic. I've cried both days so far. On top of that, she seems to be potty-training herself. Today when she got up from an incredibly short nap, she said she had to pee.... and we took off her diaper and she peed in the potty - HURRAY. Then, 10 minutes later, she dropped a giant turd on my floor - oh well. She also seems to be cutting back on her nap time. So many changes all at once. Even though I have had enough experiences with her to know that these changes come in waves and cycles.... there is a part of me that screams TOO FAST, TOO MUCH, NOT READY!!!!! And yet, she is ready and it's happening.

As the boss of me, I am giving myself the afternoon off to breath, rest and feed myself. I am running my race on Saturday and want to be filled with energy!!!!!

+ watermelon love

+ Addie & the iPhone

+ mommy's shoes

Happy Equinox!

+ Baby Takes a Self Portrait

Addie got a hold of the camera again.

+ The Driver

This is Cousin Carmen. What more can I say?

+ sharing kisses

Addie and her cousin Carmen in the bath giving kisses.

+ top of the world

+ bench

+ where's Addie

+ snake lady love

I recently finished this painting. Oh, how the snakes do appear!

+ Monster Who Ate My Dad

Monday is house-cleaning day. I learned this technique from FLY LADY. No matter how I "feel"...I clean the house on Monday. Then I'm done. I actually love it. That being said, I was super busy today and didn't even remember to take a daily picture until now - 10PM - headed to bed. So, here it is. I looked around my office and the thing that got my attention is the Monster Who Ate My Dad. Enjoy...

+ SideYard SnailFest 2009

+ Creatures are Gathering

The first creatures from the Deep Woods are starting to gather. They are about to make a pilgrimage to Mary Swanson's Art House in Middlebury Vermont for the October Harvest Show. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the opening, but will be there for a little fall tree touring the week after the opening. Many more creatures are scheduled to arrive, so I will be in my creative laboratory for the next few weeks, welcoming them in. Oolala

+ tomatoes from our garden

So far, I love taking a daily photo. It makes me think more about art and what I am seeing. Today I saw two amazing things to photograph. This shot came later in the day - my husband cut tomatoes from our yard and I snapped a pic. It was only after I looked through the viewfinder that I realized how stunning the back ground was. I love happy discoveries of beauty. Choosing to act was an important piece to this discovery.

+ First Ascent

Plum Tree First Ascent, Luke Weitzenberg - September 2009

+ she finally discovered the joys of sliding

+ he just doesn't get it

This is how I have been feeling about motherhood lately. No matter how many times (or in how many different ways) I try to explain motherhood to my husband, he simply does not get it. He says he does, but it is clear to me that he doesn't. I don't know if it's the blank stare, or the lack of "honey, come here....you need a hug. Get in the bath and I'll put the baby to bed" response. But he tries. The scary part is, he is not supposed to get it. In this lifetime, he is learning what it is to be a man and father - that is his path. I know I need to let it go. However, I still want him to get it. I am a gluten for punishment. (Image Link)

+ paint in the sink

First day of after-school class in the studio. So sweet. Love my new sink.

+ Steve's Morning Glories

My husband is magical. He found this old bed-spring on the side of the road, brought it home, attached it to the fence and has been growing his beauties on it. First, the sweet peas, now the morning glories. Love him.

+ fall is on her way

+ Addie's First Tea Set

+ Night Studio ReConstruction

+ Coming Together

Addie standing in the "new sink" from Heritage Salvage in Petaluma. We have found quite a lot of our magical materials there.

Today the new paint brushes and promo postcards arrived. Who doesn't love opening boxes of art supplies? Then I spent my lunch mixing the luscious colors for the new paint pots. Tonight, steve is sanding the sink's counter and hanging the painting walls. It's a beautiful thing.

In training news, I had a great trail run with Anne Marie today. I just love running up and down mountains. It's sick. But there is a lot to learn about running "The Sport" as my coach calls it. Today, when we were NOT running the trail, she was coaching me on quick steps and posture (shoulders back, chest up, relaxed face.) It felt strange - like being in marching band on steroids - but everything else she has taught me has worked out great. Tomorrow I go back to the treadmill.

New Art Goal: one image a day.

+ Run Run RUn

Tomorrow, Friday, on the Full Moon in Pisces... I am doing a trail run with my coach in Sonoma. I'm really looking forward to it. All week I have been "resting" my shoulder and doing stretching and strengthening. I can't wait to actually do some running. Also, I signed up for the Napa Stomp 10K. WHoo Hoo. Am I getting a little crazy with the rebirth of my competitive athlete self? I am reading Complete Book of Women's Running! I think that is kinda weird, but I can't help myself. I want a subscription to Trail Runner Magazine for a Solstice present!

+ Making Amulets

Very excited about the Amulet class I am creating with Francesca. Today she came over and brought delicious text and an incredible image. YES YES YES - current class description

+ Organization & Training

Wow, i have been in the studio 3 times this week! The energy is building. The paper is ordered. The paints and brushes are on their way. The sink and walls will be finished this weekend. It's going really really well.

Today, Organization and Commitment to the Body!

One - As a mom, I can't say enough about being organized. I have a real resistance to disciplining myself, but I've found an immense sense of satisfaction in my recent accomplishments. I started a binder to highlight the areas of life I am committed too. I also have a schedule printed out for the week with my training each day, my personal & creative practice, home commitments, childcare provider and what I am eating for lunch. (Yes, I tend to not eat lunch, in favor of working during my daughter's nap.) Having a schedule and accountability has helped me to also take more time off and spend more time in my studio. As a mom working for myself, it's easy to "space out" and say tomorrow is a better day to do _________. Now, I feel I can channel my energy for work more directly, for better results. There is always room for improvement (and vacations!)

Two - I'm sad that I am missing my training with my coach today. My right shoulder and right low back have been bothering me. I made an appointment with the Chiropractor, so I am hopefully that I can come back into alignment. I am feeling really strong and alive with my physical training. AND I feel really ready to heal these old injuries of bad posture and too much unconscious time on the computer (starting in my late 20s.) In the past, the Chiropractor has helped relieve pain, but I rarely did the assigned exercises to strengthen the areas of weakness. I am 100% committed now. I'll let you know how that goes.

Today is my "day off" meaning my husband watches addie. I am going to be in my studio painting, as well as printing up flyers for my fall after-school classes. Later, I will be going to the Chiro, as I said.

+ Process Painting

I finished the first process painting I started in the studio. Lots of snakes, as always!

+ getting ready

I'm in my 4th week of training with Anne Marie and it's pretty awesome. My running event is coming up Oct. 3. I can't believe how much I am loving it and it is HARD work. I am having to be very organized to get all my "things" done. Monday morning is still my clean the house time, plus shopping. That means I have to get up early to do the workout or seriously hustle to do both the cleaning and exercise! I like the challenge of making it a game - to get everything done (that I committed too), but it can me SO LAME sometimes when I just want to loaf about like "the good ol' days". Lots of structure!

This week I need to focus on the promotional materials for the Petaluma Art House, so people know about it! The window is now officially in the studio and I planted the flower box (formerly a chicken roost) with amazing succulents. It's looking sweet. I can't wait to decorate the inside, as soon as the sink is flowing~

Hopefully, we are starting class next week.

Love it!

+ Petlauma Art House website

Today I launched the Petaluma Art House website. I have been working on that, among other organizational projects, for weeks now while my client-based business has been resting for the summer. What a journey I have had. And... I have been feeling like things are just about to pick up, so I am excited.

In retrospect, I see why this break from client-work has been good. I needed time to take a step back and re-assess what my goals are in relationship to my new situation - being a mom and living in Petaluma. Knowing that, I could get very clear on the direction I want to take in with my work as an artist and teacher. Again, I feel pretty excited. I can't wait to open the painting studio in September. It feels like it is time, I'm ready and it is definitely wanted. SO here we go...

+ Taking her Own Sweet Time

She just doesn't like to rush herself. She needs to take her time, check things out, get used to the scene. I laugh about it, but truthfully, I am the same way. We were just in Tahoe for the week. All the other kids were running around on the sand, on the grass, jumping or crawling into the Lake or kiddie pool....and then there is addie. She didn't want to touch the sand, nor get in the water. She didn't even want to take her clothes off and put her swimmy diaper on. And yet, as the days went by, she warmed up to the activities.

She did touch the sand, she got into her swimmy diaper and she did enter the kiddie pool. Slowly, slowly. This girls takes her time and won't be rushed. AND, she gets there.

Lately, I have had to practice trust and patience in the area of my work. I have been working really hard on setting up the structure, made lots of investment, but have had little opportunity for return. My gut says "stay with it" but I slip into my fear that it will never work out. Watching Addie grow and learn, I am reminded of the Mystery. I am going to leave more room for it, starting today!

Squeak Carnwath: Painting Is No Ordinary Object

I just saw a beautiful show of Squeak Carnwath's paintings - one of my favorite artists - at the Oakland Museum of California. I highly recommend it. The large scale paintings are gorgeous and inspiring. The show is up until August 31, 2009.

+ End of July - Healthy Living

I've been in my office all week... (which I love!) We found an awesome babysitter to cover for addie's regular babysitter, so I have been able to get lots done. Addie is now 19 months old and so awesome. It just gets better and better. Anyway, as we get settled into Petaluma and acclimated to our new community, things are starting to shape up. My friend Mary said that it takes a year to move-in and she wasn't exaggerating.

My focus right now is on Health. Healthy ME, healthy business, healthy structures and routines. I am working with a personal trainer, Anne Marie, who I love and she's got me running again, which I am thrilled about!!! I am reclaiming my competitive-athlete-self that I abandoned after the glory days of high school. As part of my training, I have to go to the gym - which is a little scary for me because it's been 18 years since I have had a gym membership! But I am looking forward to figuring it out and using the Kids Club. At the same time, I am redesigning and updating my Build Altar's website, as well as continuing to build out the home studio/classroom. It feels good to have all this movement in areas where I think "this can never happen".

I am being "asked" to change a lot of my OFP (old family patterns) and not-yet-conscious beliefs about being allowed to just BE WHO I AM. It's painful. For those with Astrology backgrounds, Pluto is transiting my ascendent in Capricorn. That means I am experiencing the death and rebirth of my "image, front door, mask, outer personality, social persona, what others see" - it feels ugly and embarrassing to feel so vulnerable and public, but I also have a deep commitment to authenticity, so i don't tend to hide what I am experiencing.

I love what Molly Hall writes about this aspect, my rising is Capricorn. "The Capricorn rising is a realist that focuses on getting things done. The Capricorn rising is a realist that focuses on getting things done. You have a sense of purpose, especially if you've found your calling. You don't like to 'hang out,' preferring to be always engaged in something productive. You are serious and may come across as a stern know-it-all. But others respect your ability to achieve, and know that you're a person who means what they say. Yours is a Saturn-rule chart, since Saturn rules Capricorn. This brings you severe tests that require discipline and perseverance to overcome. Your childhood may be marked by hardship or harsh parenting. You may be ruthlessly self-critical. But you make a capable first impression. You're a leader that people trust to 'keep it real' by not taking too many risks. You don't buckle under pressure, and may emerge as a public figure."

Right now, I am working hard on owning my Capricorn-ness. "Each rising sign (ascendent) has specific lessons that need to be learned. When those traits are owned, and integrated into the personality, the rest of the chart can find its way out into the world, and express itself with true integrity. The integration of that part of us can help us become more effective in life, as well as to understand how we're coming across, and how we connect with others."

It's an amazing journey. I feel so lucky to my family and friends I can share it with.

+ I'm Back!

I'm back! So the question is, where have i been? Ah, the black hole that is motherhood for me. Well, maybe not a black hole....but sometimes I feel "lost in space." Now it is July 3!!!

I spent most of the Spring wondering which aspect of my business I should focus on - art, teaching classes, creating unique products or my intuitive business. Being new to the area and to motherhood seems to escape my awareness, so I am often hard on myself for "not making it all happen". First step - take a step back and assess the situation. I have had to acknowledge that I have more ambition than I have time for. So, my second step was to get a babysitter and set a schedule that I can rely on. I have that now (thank the goddess!!!) The third thing I had to do was pick a focus. This is always hard for me because I love so many things. Again, stepping into the reality of "what is"....I asked the question, what would give me the most stability now? The answer for me, is to build up my intuitive practice from 2-4 clients/week up to 6 clients a week. I've got a good timeline set and a plan of action. With a little help from my people, the universe and the unseen forces, I'll have a good time with this one.

This spring, I opened my art studio (phase 1) at the beginning of May with The Spring Transformational Retreat. It was awesome seeing 22 people painting in the new studio!!! After that, I hosted a series of Friday morning open studios, offering process painting to current students. For the summer, I am focusing on my own art practice & building out the studio. As we love recycling and reusing, we are looking for a few windows and a slop sink.

As my darling daughter was stopped nursing (a self-weener at 1.5 years) I feel I can finally put more energy towards HEALTH! My dear friend Anne Marie Sebastiani (http://www.goalsfortheweek.com) is going to help me recover my long-neglected competitive athlete. We had our first intro-meeting yesterday and I am excited to see what kind of goals we come up with. I will keep you posted!

+ Need I say more?

+ Make Art

"I was out walking the dear dog and I saw 500 things that made me want to make art." - Maira Kalman

Art & Motherhood Documentary

Who Does She Think She IS Documentary

+ Happy Valentines Day

I don't know why exactly, but I love this picture. More pics

+ Cool Words

From Rev. Joseph Lowery's benediction at the Inauguration of President Obama Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen.

+ home loving

We moved into our house in Petaluma Nov. 1, 2008. At first, I was incredibly stressed out because it was not the way I wanted it to look. All I could see were the changes I wanted to make. 

The first thing I set up was my studio. I love having my own room. It is an amazing place I like to call Vegas (more on that later.) After Vegas was set up, I moved on to the basics - emptying boxes and going through the treasures we had accumulated in "storage" for the last 7 years - while living in a tiny cabin in the woods. This has been a long process. But now, we are seeing the end of it (4 months later!) Our new storage is almost complete - organized and beautiful - and our house is in good shape. Soon we will announce the date of our fabulous garage sale of treasures. 

Once I calmed myself down after accepting that this adventure was a process, I started to enjoy getting to know my house. I have lots of questions about how things came to pass here, who lived in this space, why did they make the choices they made? I am slowly entering into each space/room and asking what wants to happen here. 

We started in the smallest room - the downstairs bathroom. We painted it 2 weekends ago, an eco-friendly (Yolo) beautiful robin's egg blue. This is my Virgin of Guadalupe bathroom. It sits in the wealth corner of the house, so I think it is appropriate to dedicate it to my favorite goddess. My husband was/is a little "concerned" with what I might create in this bathroom, but I feel confident the form will reveal itself in perfect timing and beauty. 

Everyday I get to remember that this is MY HOUSE and I get to decorate it however I want. When I get overwhelmed, I remind myself that this is a giant, glorious art project of my own design. Right now, I am learning how to take care of it. I highly recommend FLYLADY! She breaks it down into very small steps. Even though I am a huge advocate for this type of movement, I never thought to apply "baby steps" to home maintenance....or as she likes to call it, Home Blessings. This weekend, we are painting the bedroom for valentines day - oh la la!

artist maira kalman

maira kalman

An Interview: http://inspirationboards.blogspot.com/2008/03/maira-kalman.html

New York Times

+ kickin it post diaper change

Nothing like reading a book, while someone else changes your poopy diaper.

+ Join the Club

Well, I've joined the petaluma mother's club and am slowly getting acquainted with the emails on the list serve. For someone who wants to connect to other mothers and the community, I find it surprising that I feel a bit overwhelmed and wonder, where I start? I did make a couple calls to play groups for Addie & I - I am hopeful. Today I had a very sweet babysitter and will AGAIN tomorrow. Now that is abundance!

GO-BAMA!!!

This is my Obama tshirt I got from donating to MoveOn.org. I cut off the sleeves and sewed up the sides...then I added a little hand-stitched "flair" - WHA-LA! Instant inaugural masterpiece! I even sewed an O onto little addie. She loves dressing up too.

Happy Chinese New Year! The Year of the Earth Ox offers a time of rebuilding, so who better to quote than our good Ox brother, Barack Obama - "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

YES!!!!

Lady Pricilla - 2008

Lady Priscilla, Elephant (2008) Priscilla knows something and she thinks it's funny. Nothing gets by her. She is always paying close attention, ears wide open, listening for gold. Like all lady elephants, she is affectionate, loyal and a big believer in Lady-Power. She encourages you to follow your nose! Her philosophy is - if it smells good...it is good! Elephant Medicine: Everything has a unique gift to offer the world. In native cultures, they refer to this gift as medicine. The medicine of Elephant connects us to our Innate Power, Royalty, Strength, Intelligence, Fertility and Memory. Besides having a keen sense of smell, an elephants trunk can both pick a blade of grass and uproot a tree, encouraging you to know your own strength and to use it wisely. It's skin is thick but incredibly sensitive, so time spent in or around water, including wallowing in mud baths, is essential for supple skin and mental health. Sewn by Heather Bleasdell © 2008