YES!

I am happily blogging away @ http://heatherbleasdell.typepad.com/ and on BuildAltars. Please stop by and feel free to leave a comment, if you feel inspired. xoxo heather

should I keep a blog for my personal site?

Okay, now I am considering stopping the blog for HeatherBleasdell.com all together. Why? As a mother, I feel that I need to funnel my extracurricular activities into ONE place if I can - rather than feeling spread out all the time. I'm not going to lie to you, Motherhood is challenging. After a year of writing, I feel like I am mostly complaining on my blog, when in fact the act of writing helps me to process my feelings and get to a better place. Do people really need to read that part of the process? OR are they simply looking for inspiration? The intention of writing this blog is explore motherhood, art and magic. I keep asking myself, where's the art? Where's the magic? That gets expressed on my buildaltars site. So, I am curious if "my writer" can best be served on the BuildAltars website blog, where there are actually tools and a community connection. The downside, is that it is less personal. It also means I will not be posting personal pics of my munchkin. I will have to save that for facebook.

So for now, I will keep this blog updated with my inquiry "should I keep a blog for my personal site." In the meantime, please find me on FB. Let's be friends!

Still checking out typepad

I am still testing the typepad format. Is it really worth it? I have to pay $8.95/mo. now, but I love that there is no banner (sorry blogger, I'm not a huge fan of the top banner.) I'll keep you updated. For more cosmic updates, check out the Build Altars site.

Moving

I am moving to typepad. Here is a link to what I am starting: http://heatherbleasdell.typepad.com/
Love love love FRESH!

+ weird feeling

a weird feeling is coming over me.
It's been going on for the last couple of days
if I don't write it down, I may not have a record of it
so if it goes away,
I won't remember that it is possible to feel this way.

Here it is folks - I don't want to be like anyone else.

There. I've said it. I can't believe it.

I have a Capricorn rising. I love to work. Only, my work is non-traditional in nature, so I often feel unseen. There are people in the work world that I have admired for a long time. They mirror different aspects of what I would like to do and be. But I don't feel like being them right now. Not maira kalman, not keri smith, not lynda barry, not my dear friend mary. It feels so liberating.

what is happening to me?
i feel strangely satisfied with my life
filled with gratitude
it feels so good
WTF

I have some more truth to tell.
I am getting real. Getting Wild & Goatish!
The new moon in Capricorn is coming on Friday and it's big.

+ standing by

day 2 of standing by.
what's standing by?
me.
i want to start painting.
I'm not set up.
How is this going to happen?
maybe during addie's nap.
it's hard to put "my life" into little spaces of time.

people keep contacting me regarding painting classes,
for themselves, for their kids.
it's hard to say no, wait, soon, maybe, i don't know
I want to say YES.
I want to say "I know what I'm doing" and "I'm a professional."
I want people to trust me.

but really, I want to trust me. Trust my needs.
I need the time off. I need to
honor winter,
rest,
dream,
paint myself
I am practicing saying YES to me first.
that's a big deal for anyone

the studio in winter

+ AVATAR

is it so wrong?

+ Mercury Retrograde - one more week

More fuel for the compost. Still cleaning and organizing - trips to Goodwill, the dump, throwing out the old, creating more space. It feels good, but it's starting to get old. However, I see the light at the end of the tunnel - Mercury goes direct on the 15th. Mercury goes retrograde 3 times a year, so it's a nice opportunity to get this review/reorganize stuff done. Today I made a serious dent on my studio/office... cleaning and reorganizing my craft supplies, closet and tables from the craftastic adventures I had in november and december. It's funny. I really go all out during those months, and then the drive to sew fades away again. Now I am intensely interested in my intuitive consulting business - my clients are off the hook right now and I am thrilled with what they are up too!) I am also interested in redesiging/updating my heatherbleasdell.com website and and almost done redoing the petaluma art house site. So, then my winter will look like Intuitive consulting, painting, and training for a few trail running events. Yeah!

I found my missing latte a week later

so sad. No coffee likes to be abandoned.

+ Sing it Loud!

I got an amplifier and microphone for xmas from steve. It was a huge surprise. I have talked about it for a long time and here it is. I can barely touch it. Not only that, things keep going wrong with it. First, the power cord was missing, so we couldn't play with it on xmas day. Then, we had some friends over and the baby touched the ipod player on the amp, and the player no longer works (but the ipod does!) So weird. Time to clean up any resistance around owning my singing (and joining a choir in 2010!!!!)

+ Kindness is good food

Wow, it is so easy to be hard on oneself - and much harder to be easy.

I have been experiencing some major shifts of energy. Nothing is settled. My belly feels like it is being stirred. I dreamt of farming after watching The Real Dirt on Farmer John and woke up in the middle of the night with my familiar, Anxiety. Farming would seem like a relaxing dream-topic, but it was filled with stress, anxiety, and hard-work for little compensation. Once awake, my mind looped on Dexter, a Showtime series based on a fictional vigilante serial killer. I had to get out of bed. Not very relaxing. I still feel uncomfortable about the whole thing.

One thing I have noticed lately is that I have an OVERABUNDANCE of judgment. Lots of judgment about how "others" act. At times, it seems like a constant stream. Today, during yoga practice I found myself judging the teacher. Not her yoga practice or how she taught, but her.... AND, I don't even know her. I know nothing about her. So it makes me wonder, WHO IS JUDGING?

When I let myself answer that question -- the person who is judging is the part of me who is afraid to change. Afraid of leaving the old for the new, letting go of the familiar for a new possibility to arise. There have been some major shifts in my perspective and what I will focus on in 2010 feels very new. I am afraid of making other's angry by shifting my focus. I am afraid of not meeting other's expectation. So now, I am waiting to jump in, waiting to commit. This feels uncomfortable too, but I have made decisions while Mercury is Retrograde that I had to re-do, so I wait.... and feel my anxiety, and clean and reorganize my home, office and studio.

I ask the Mystery for help in letting all the random judgments pass quietly by. I ask for help and support in releasing this wild energy that tears things apart. And, I ask for assistance in completing the review and reorganization of my physical world, and the structures I dwell in... to support the part of me that I am letting into the world. THE PAINTER. There I said it. Kindness tastes good.

Perfection

+ Happy New Year with Linguine & Clams, plus Heavenly Hots

Made fresh pasta with Steve. We haven't pulled the pasta maker out since moving to Petaluma. It was one of the first "kitchen supplies" steve bought for himself, way back in the day. Needless to say, fresh pasta is the BOMB. It was delicious. We staid up until 10:45 drinking J champagne and calling out friends. Overall, we had a fantastic night hanging out. Just like our first official date - New Years 2002!

Pasta recipe From Biba's Italian Kitchen, Biba Caggiano. Clam Sauce from The Art of Simple Food, Alice Waters. (Next time we would add more sauce.)

To make things even sweeter, we cooked Francesca's family's famous Heavenly Hots for breakfast today and had the Reiners over. They were baby-approved!

Heavenly Hots - Francesca Preston
1 cup sour cream

3 tbsp flour (you can substitute with Tapioca flour)

2 eggs, beaten - just see how the consistency feels to you once you've beaten it.

1/2 tsp baking soda

pinch salt

Francesca cooks them in Preston olive oil or butter, or both together. We served them with fresh berries, fruit, and creme. I love them with fresh squeezed lemon and powdered sugar. If you haven't tried that combo, I highly suggest it. (I got that one from Shannon Hopkins)

"delish!"   (nana's words)

+ What have I been up to?

This. Hanging guilt-free with my Munchkin. I have been considering taking January "off". I'm not sure what that means, but I need to go into my cave for a while, dream and soak in a little winter-wisdom for myself. No need to put the pressure on. I long to practice what I "see" in my intuitive work, for my clients and for myself. I'm planning on spending a night this week working on my New Year's collage. My "X: marks the spot"- the gauge that shows me where I am presently. (Steve is also going to be doing his.) My feeling right now is, I would like to experience breakthroughs in Painting, Health and Gratitude this year. I'm playing with it, keeping it loose. Mercury (the information planet) is in retrograde, so one must acknowledge that there is more information "coming in"and not get too attached (or upset) if direction/focus/intention changes. Maintaining balance is a dance, my friends, because movement is the nature of the universe. Nothing stays the same. Everything changes.

+ Christmas Eve

The Christmas Eve celebration was always a big deal in our family. I love Christmas eve. I love that Addie was born on my favorite day of the year. I love the number 24. Happy 2nd Birthday to Addie and to me.

+ Happy Winter Solstice!

Yesterday we celebrated the solstice with a great ritual in the Art House. We each traced and then painted our body. The winter is all about rest, rejuvenation, slowing down, and letting yourself warm up slowly with the rising sun. From now until the Summer Solstice in June, the days will get brighter and brighter. I also love this time of year because me daughter was born around the Solstice. She just had her first party to celebrate her 2nd birthday. It was awesome. We had bubbles. Lots and lots of them, and she is a bubble fanatic! So she was very thrilled.

I want painting

Addie says this from the moment she wakes up. I think she is speaking
for the whole family. Everyone wants "more painting" :)

+ Store Open

Visit my New Store

+ love petaluma, full of treasures

+ December Holiday Show