Monday is/was my cleaning-the-house day. I am thinking about changing it to Sunday, but I kinda like it this way. I guess it is not ready to fully move yet, so I will let it simmer a little longer. One thing about the new structure that did get settled was mornings. Steve now watches addie monday, wednesday and friday. I'll do tuesday, thursday and saturday. Today was the first day and it was great. I slept in until 7:00 (yes, that is sleeping in with a 2 year old!) Then I got up to write my moon tip for the new moon in Scorpio.
Scorpio brings a day of dark energy, and by dark I mean mysterious, creative, juicy energy of change and transformation. But it's hard to settle down enough to harness it for good. I have actually been thinking about this strange moon all month - getting ready, feeling excited. Now that it is here, I want to run. Ha ha!!!! So, what part of my persona am I willing to bring into the light today? My need for people to like me. Everyone has some version of this pattern and even if you don't, I'm sure you are aware of the payoff. If people like you = smooth sailing. However, it's not really smooth. The cost is huge. Being the artist I am versus what I think will be accepted and cool. Being the mother I am versus being the mother I think I should be. Being the wife, sister, daughter, friend I am versus what other people would like me to be. Giving what feels good to me and feeling satisfied with that versus giving what someone else needs and feeling sick to my stomach. Sound familiar. Even blogging falls into this category. Do I tell the truth of my experience, or do I "try" to have people like me by creating the perfect persona. Trust me, the blog was much harder to write when I was trying to do it right versus doing it my way.
Also, I am happy to tell you that I found someone doing what I dream about. Creating scenes with fabric. Worlds. Stories. Jumping off points of imagination. Sometimes I feel jealous when someone is doing what I want to be doing. It is at those times that I have to gently remind myself that there is plenty of room for everyone's vision. I want my vision out there. Can I let go of "people liking me"so I can step into my own Artistic Vision. Yes I can.